why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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