Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
false alarm, still single
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
