if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize
