the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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