Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize