At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Randomize
