ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
