3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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