It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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