i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
