im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
