You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
