Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
it was like having sex with a tree stump
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
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