I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
