Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize