just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Randomize
