You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
