she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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