This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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