May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
is wine microwaveable?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
