I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
