What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Randomize
