(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I have feelings that need drinking.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
