I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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