Kareoke will never be a sober sport
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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