obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
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