You're completely useless in the revolution.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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