Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
