It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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