forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
