I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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