Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
