8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
