Your mouth is God's brothel.
Someone shit on the floor
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
