You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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