we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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