Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Randomize
