I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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