Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
