i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
