thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
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