Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize