i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
