No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
