what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
