so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
