i think i have herpe
just one?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
