Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
