I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
