oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
